He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
