so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
