super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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