If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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