somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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