Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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