We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
