First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
