in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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