Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
