god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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