Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
