mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
