so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
