the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
