Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Of course I have a pirate flag
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
