everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
