wakey wakey hands off snakey
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
