Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
