Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
