Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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