Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
