Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
