Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My pussy is not your playground.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
