My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
