He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
