i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
