I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
