i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
