you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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