I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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