we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
