You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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