I want to make a zoo with you.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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