I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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