I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
