How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize