I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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