Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Someone shit on the floor
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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