Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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