Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize