It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
