I accidentally burped into my bong.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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