Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
