Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize