oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
