Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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