i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
