What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
