I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The struggles of a small town man whore
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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