you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
