why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
