So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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