She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
