he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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