i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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