Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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