just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
