i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize