nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
