the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
