So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
