A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I sprained my soul last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
