Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
